I am going through a period in my walk with God where He is pruning me - bigtime!
Pruning is not easy to endure because it is a time where God makes you uncomfortable and you feel blah about everything.
But God gave me a beautiful analogy to think of during this difficult time.He said I must think of all my daily disciplines as ways that I am lovingly attending to my Garden of Faith. When you are a garden lover, you are in the garden at every opportunity, whether or not there is something in bloom. Just the very act of giving TLC to your garden brings satisfaction and the blooming at the end is actually a bonus. All you are after as a garden lover is a flourishing, healthy garden, blooms or not.
That's the same way I should be attending to my Garden of Faith, lovingly going through the various daily disciplines knowing that in the end my garden will flourish because of the constant attention, in and out season. This analogy reminds me that just as my garden is not just about the blooms, my Garden of Faith is not just about the consolations that God gives me to keep my faith strong. It's much deeper than that and I should be able to walk in faith whether or not God gives me consolations.
I love this analogy and it has certainly given me a new perspective as I go through this period of pruning.
To God be the glory!
Amen!
Friday 6 February 2015
Friday 30 January 2015
God Is Good
After the day of my conversion in 2012, I went into a period of darkness where I did not know whether I was coming or going. I couldn't see where I was going. All I had to go on was the conviction that God is Good and that He was taking me to a good place. It's only in about Dec. 2012, that I could once again see where I was going as good things did indeed begin to happen.
This has been so ever since. Until now. Now, I am back in that place of darkness, where I can't see where I am going and once again, all I have to go on is that God is Good and that He is leading me to a good place. I was talking to a priest this morning, who confirmed that every believer goes through a dry, desert experience in their walk with God. He withdraws His consolations and you feel as though every step is a hard slog.
This is a time of testing, and it is as though God is testing our hearts to see if they're true to Him. He is testing why we are following Him. Is it because we desire more of Him, or is it because we want more of His gifts.If it is the latter, you will certainly fall by the wayside because one will get discouraged by the waiting period. Whereas, if it's the former, you would have tasted God, and known that only He can satisfy the hunger of your soul no matter how barren the desert experience gets. You hang on, as a deer pants for water, for the day when He will once again quench that thirst that nothing else can satisfy.
So yes, the going is tough at the moment, but I wait in faith that this God who I love so much, will show Himself eventually and quench my thirst for Him. In parting this priest friend of mine joked that this is why God has so few friends, because He treats them so "badly."
To God be the glory.
Amen.
Wednesday 21 January 2015
Inner Transformation
In 2003, I was introduced to a new world that absolutely fascinated me. That is the world of life coaching. Without knowing it, I had always been into the whole thing about personal growth and development. Personal growth and development turn me on. I wanted to be a Life Coach so that I could help others on their own inner journeys to personal transformation.
Now as I look back on my life since that fateful day on 9th Feb 2012, the day of my conversion, I can see that God (Baba) has been my Life Coach and has taken me on the most incredible inner journey of my life. He has literally turned me inside out and created a new person out of me. First came the process of emotional healing, when Baba exposed the recent hurts that had happened in my life and that I had literally buried alive. He exposed them and nursed them with His healing touch. Next there was physical healing, as He addressed the problem of my middle age weight gain. Within 9 months I had shed 16kg and I have been slim and trim ever since.
The next area that my Life Coach exposed me to was the area of my spiritual healing. On 19th April 2013 I fell in love with Jesus. I can't begin to tell you when this process began, all I can say is that I woke up one morning feeling like I had won the lottery and I couldn't figure out what it was. It is only later that the insight came that in fact I was in love - with Jesus. My mental healing began when Baba exposed me to the ideas of minimalism and simplicity. I embraced them and began to practice them and as I did I experienced my life becoming simpler and more focused. I had less distractions as I pared back and threw out all the non-essentials.
It's only this morning that I realised that it is this journey of inner transformation begun in 2012, that cumulated in me becoming a hermit in Oct, 2014. I had been purged emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally and now I am at the threshold of a new life.
This new life is exciting because it is the process of becoming one with God. This is a whole new adventure in itself as it involves spending a great deal of one on one time with God and letting go and letting Him do what He will with me. The result is change in my character from deep within. Becoming more Christlike and loving in my relationships. It is a journey I look forward to.
To God be the glory.
Amen.
Now as I look back on my life since that fateful day on 9th Feb 2012, the day of my conversion, I can see that God (Baba) has been my Life Coach and has taken me on the most incredible inner journey of my life. He has literally turned me inside out and created a new person out of me. First came the process of emotional healing, when Baba exposed the recent hurts that had happened in my life and that I had literally buried alive. He exposed them and nursed them with His healing touch. Next there was physical healing, as He addressed the problem of my middle age weight gain. Within 9 months I had shed 16kg and I have been slim and trim ever since.
The next area that my Life Coach exposed me to was the area of my spiritual healing. On 19th April 2013 I fell in love with Jesus. I can't begin to tell you when this process began, all I can say is that I woke up one morning feeling like I had won the lottery and I couldn't figure out what it was. It is only later that the insight came that in fact I was in love - with Jesus. My mental healing began when Baba exposed me to the ideas of minimalism and simplicity. I embraced them and began to practice them and as I did I experienced my life becoming simpler and more focused. I had less distractions as I pared back and threw out all the non-essentials.
It's only this morning that I realised that it is this journey of inner transformation begun in 2012, that cumulated in me becoming a hermit in Oct, 2014. I had been purged emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally and now I am at the threshold of a new life.
This new life is exciting because it is the process of becoming one with God. This is a whole new adventure in itself as it involves spending a great deal of one on one time with God and letting go and letting Him do what He will with me. The result is change in my character from deep within. Becoming more Christlike and loving in my relationships. It is a journey I look forward to.
To God be the glory.
Amen.
Friday 16 January 2015
Focus on God
When I look back to the beginning of my walk with God, I am amazed at just how far I have come. There is not one area of my life that Baba (God) has left untouched. For sure He has been changing my life starting on the inside out. And when I say inside, I mean deep inside. Like everybody, I had alot of accumulated baggage that I had been carrying all my life. One by one Baba has made me let go of each piece of baggage, until today, I am travelling light. The secret to all this has been my single minded focus on God.
There are so many things competing for our focus in today's busy world, not least of all our circumstances. However, I have found that whenever I just literally ignore everything else, however pressing and urgent it seems and focus exclusively on Baba, not only do I have peace but I have rest that can only be enjoyed in God. God's rest is like no other. It defies explanation.
To focus on God means to let Him make things happen in your life rather than relying on yourself. It means choosing to live for God instead of yourself. I have found that now that I am living for God, my life works better than it has ever done before.
To God be the glory.
Amen
There are so many things competing for our focus in today's busy world, not least of all our circumstances. However, I have found that whenever I just literally ignore everything else, however pressing and urgent it seems and focus exclusively on Baba, not only do I have peace but I have rest that can only be enjoyed in God. God's rest is like no other. It defies explanation.
To focus on God means to let Him make things happen in your life rather than relying on yourself. It means choosing to live for God instead of yourself. I have found that now that I am living for God, my life works better than it has ever done before.
To God be the glory.
Amen
Sunday 11 January 2015
Sitting at the Lord's feet
Yesterday I experienced profound peace and joy as I sat at the feet of the Lord.
Baba (God), has been calling me to spend time at His feet and I didn't hear Him. All I felt was this angst. So many of my activities now felt so empty, so many of my conversations with people seemed so empty. There was inside of me a space that needed filling and I didn't know with what.
I just felt I wanted more, but I didn't know what more was, until now. What I wanted was more of God. What I was seeking was more of God. How did I get more of Him? All I did was pray to God that I wanted more of Him and could He show me how to get this.
I then got the impulse on Sat to spend two hours sitting silently with God. It was beautiful. I was in the garden and the weather was just perfect for quiet reflection. Except that it wasn't reflection. All I was doing was sitting and not thinking of anything in particular. I t was beautiful.
I enjoyed it so much that I decided to do it again yesterday. I had a session from 11 - 1. It was beautiful. I was enjoying myself so much and wanting more and more of this silent dialogue that I had another session from 2.45 - 4.30. This time Baba, showed up in all His glory and gave me such a deep and warm embrace I felt like crying at the beauty of the moment. It was as though He was saying welcome home, I've been waiting for you, what took you so long.
Oh! how can I begin to describe how I feel each time I spend time at Baba's feet. As I said before, I feel profound peace and joy and I don't see how the time goes. Our conversation during this time is entirely wordless and yet so deep.
I think of the words to a song, "when deep cries out to deep, come Lord Jesus come." Yes, something deep in me was crying out for more. And Baba has come. He is the deep I was crying out for and that space in me that was longing to be filled, is filled by Him.
All I want now is more and more of God.
Baba (God), has been calling me to spend time at His feet and I didn't hear Him. All I felt was this angst. So many of my activities now felt so empty, so many of my conversations with people seemed so empty. There was inside of me a space that needed filling and I didn't know with what.
I just felt I wanted more, but I didn't know what more was, until now. What I wanted was more of God. What I was seeking was more of God. How did I get more of Him? All I did was pray to God that I wanted more of Him and could He show me how to get this.
I then got the impulse on Sat to spend two hours sitting silently with God. It was beautiful. I was in the garden and the weather was just perfect for quiet reflection. Except that it wasn't reflection. All I was doing was sitting and not thinking of anything in particular. I t was beautiful.
I enjoyed it so much that I decided to do it again yesterday. I had a session from 11 - 1. It was beautiful. I was enjoying myself so much and wanting more and more of this silent dialogue that I had another session from 2.45 - 4.30. This time Baba, showed up in all His glory and gave me such a deep and warm embrace I felt like crying at the beauty of the moment. It was as though He was saying welcome home, I've been waiting for you, what took you so long.
Oh! how can I begin to describe how I feel each time I spend time at Baba's feet. As I said before, I feel profound peace and joy and I don't see how the time goes. Our conversation during this time is entirely wordless and yet so deep.
I think of the words to a song, "when deep cries out to deep, come Lord Jesus come." Yes, something deep in me was crying out for more. And Baba has come. He is the deep I was crying out for and that space in me that was longing to be filled, is filled by Him.
All I want now is more and more of God.
Friday 9 January 2015
The essentials of my Zen Philosophy are as follows:
1. Be Loving
2. Be Humble
3. Do right
4. Follow your Heart
Be Loving
Love without limits, the way God does.
Be Humble
Remember that I am a forgiven sinner.
Do Right
Be Christ's hands, feet, eyes, ears and voice.
Follow your Heart
Follow your heart's desire, for if you persist, it ultimately leads you to God.
Amen.
1. Be Loving
2. Be Humble
3. Do right
4. Follow your Heart
Be Loving
Love without limits, the way God does.
Be Humble
Remember that I am a forgiven sinner.
Do Right
Be Christ's hands, feet, eyes, ears and voice.
Follow your Heart
Follow your heart's desire, for if you persist, it ultimately leads you to God.
Amen.
Thursday 8 January 2015
My Zen Lifestyle
It is Socrates who once said that the unexamined life is not worth living. I totally agree with this, because I find that journalling gives me time to reflect on my life and therefore adds depth and meaning to my life. It also brings me a great deal of joy and peace.
I am a hermit and still finding my feet in this new world of my calling. To be a hermit, I feel called to live a lifestyle of:
Solitude
Silence
Simplicity.
Solitude
By solitude, I mean that I feel called to live alone for spiritual reasons. I have come to love God to the extent that I want my entire life to revolve around Him and Him alone. I want to give Him my total and absolute attention. Doing this brings me profound joy.
Silence
I want a life of calm and serenity. It is in this sort of ambience that I can obey God's invitation to "be still and know that I am God." It is through silence that I hear the voice of God speaking at its loudest and clearest to me. I want me and my home to be an oasis of peace.
Simplicity
My life is one of simple abundance. I love to take the ordinary and turn it into the extraordinary by simple means, be it the way I dress, eat or live.
It is Socrates who once said that the unexamined life is not worth living. I totally agree with this, because I find that journalling gives me time to reflect on my life and therefore adds depth and meaning to my life. It also brings me a great deal of joy and peace.
I am a hermit and still finding my feet in this new world of my calling. To be a hermit, I feel called to live a lifestyle of:
Solitude
Silence
Simplicity.
Solitude
By solitude, I mean that I feel called to live alone for spiritual reasons. I have come to love God to the extent that I want my entire life to revolve around Him and Him alone. I want to give Him my total and absolute attention. Doing this brings me profound joy.
Silence
I want a life of calm and serenity. It is in this sort of ambience that I can obey God's invitation to "be still and know that I am God." It is through silence that I hear the voice of God speaking at its loudest and clearest to me. I want me and my home to be an oasis of peace.
Simplicity
My life is one of simple abundance. I love to take the ordinary and turn it into the extraordinary by simple means, be it the way I dress, eat or live.
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